I Never Planned to Be an Influencer

I only ever wanted to tell the story, not become it

I JUST FOUND OUT, BY ACCIDENT, THAT you can see who “restacks” your articles on Substack Notes.

All this time, I didn’t know. Every day is something new to learn here.

And someone nice enough to “restack” one of my posts did with a small message attached:

“This is the kind of influencer I follow.”

I had to pause, because I’d never seen myself that way.

Me, an influencer?

Oh my.

I didn’t even know what social media was until about three years ago.

I arrived at this world late, maybe twenty years too late.

Later than so many people who already had strategies, brands, “marketing plans.” And I was still figuring out what a hashtag did.

So when I read that word, influencer, I had a strange feeling.

Almost like embarrassment.

Because that word sometimes is associated with a different nature of influencing… or at least what it has come to mean.

People who sell a packaged version of themselves. Who sell products, courses, thoughts. Who endorse an idea of a perfect life, a perfect body, a perfect dream, and so on…

It’s not always necessarily manufactured. Some of it may be entirely real.

And I have enormous respect for people who manage to make a living online, because most of times it’s massive work, it’s hard, and it’s honest.

But I never wanted that.

I never thought about being a brand or to perform my life.

I just want to write it.

Tell the truth about it.

And if the words are fair enough, get someone in a peaceful room across the ocean to feel something about Ukraine you hadn’t felt before.

“The heart of Ukraine in the heart of Texas,” Houston, Texas

That’s all this have ever been for me. A way to serve. Something like of a public service.

Public service because my message here is not only about Ukraine, but about humanity and the way we see each other.

Everything I write is free. No paywalls. No exclusivity.

Even my books, always free

I hesitate to say it, but it’s true I need help to keep this going. Every small gesture of support lets me spend more time here, listening, writing, trying to make these words worth your time.

And who knows if I could have more subscribers if I put things behind a wall, if I “ride” the usual path.

But I won’t.

Because I’m not here to chase “conversions.”

I’m here to make sure the story of this country called Ukraine, my country, reaches everyone who needs to hear it.

So no. I never thought of myself as an influencer.

But… if I’ve influenced you to care about Ukraine,

To be a little more present with your child,

To see the homeless man in your neighborhood not as a ghost, but as someone who once had a story like yours,

If I’ve influenced you to call your mother, or smile at that elderly neighbor who has no one to talk to .

Then yes. I’ll take the title.

So gladly.

Because that’s all I ever wanted to do with this humble and complicated life I carry.

Phoenix, Arizona

Perhaps that's the type of influencing that kind reader meant.

Not an influencer trying to sell you a better life, but someone who tries to remind you that your life already matters.

Someone who doesn’t perform a story but tries to hand you one thread of truth to hold into.

I didn’t dream of being everywhere.

I didnt care about being remembered forever.

I just wanted someone to feel it

Even if only once.

🇺🇦

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🔖 All content in this journal is free to everyone. That’s only possible because some of you choose to support it with a paid subscription. If you’re new here and this voice speaks to you, thank you for finding it. You’re welcome, in any form.

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🔖 Please take a look and join (if you liked, of course) my second journal I just launched recently in honor of our common fight:

A Message from the Soviet Union

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📖 “The Divine Comedian: Ukraine’s Journey Through Hell, Purgatory, and Paradise” is my first book: about Ukraine, seen from inside the fire, and the hope that refuses to die. Download it for free (PDF & Kindle).