I have not dreamt that about our monster here in America. I have thought it while being awake. Yes, it is terrible we are put in that place of hate when all we want is peace and a normal life. Bless you Viktor.🫡💙💛🌻
Bless you too Kat, and thanks for your honesty. We can feel the scale of their monstruosity when they start to raise these monstruous thoughts on us, and they dont make us monsters, but only humans. That's the biggest monstruosity of all, and we cannot forgive them for that. 🌻
I have had day dreams about killing trump, and yes, the thought is not pleasant. I have never used a gun, a knife, or anything more dangerous than my temper. And that is largely directed at myself. It is so difficult to realize that one can hate someone so much you wish them dead: not just dead, but that I could do it. You are a good man, Viktor, and don't let yourself tell yourself any difference. What you dreamt was cathartic, and I'm betting you needed that in order to keep fighting. Keep the faith. I, for one, believe Ukraine will ultimately prevail. Your people have something putin can't take from you: courage and an unrelenting resistance. Reminds me of our own little country of 1776 breaking from the strongest nation in the world. If our ancestors could do this, so can you.(Now, if only Americans would grow the guts you and your country people have.)
As an American my daydream is to see dRumpf in chains being duck walked into CECOT to the barbers so he can watch his locks of hair falling to the floor.
That’s what injustice and cruelty can do to us Viktor. We in this country are just as guilty of feeling this kind of rage as you are so you’re not alone.
I have also thought about it while awake -- and Putain as well. But I don't let myself use a lot of energy for this. As a little old lady,I know perfectly well that I would probably not be able to kill either of them even if I had the opportunity. Your nightmare is the result of deep psychological trauma, given the situation you find yourself in. Don't feel guilty about it. You are not becoming a monster. As you say, you are only human.
Ì agree with you Sandra. I have thought of killing some people who abused me in my life knowing full well that I lacked the real ability to do so. Trauma held inside asserts itself in our dreams. But that does not make us monsters. It is a way for our minds to release that pressure valve and keep us human.
That reminds me of a dream I had between the election and Inauguration Day - that Trump died before he could take office. In my dream, I thought, Well, I don't really wish death on anyone, but I'm glad he can't be president anymore. When I woke up, I thought, Is it bad that I kind of wish that weren't a dream?
I won't repeat the lyrics here in writing, mainly because I don't want the Palantir people (and isn't that a Tolkien copyright-violating-offense name?) coming after me, but I often think of it. :-/
Thank you Patricia, we are united in the same goal. And no matter if the fate of Putin follows my dream, having the victory of Ukraine is already mission accomplished for the entire world (and it is closer than we thought) 🌻
Thank you Robin. This is that kind of text we write and are afraid of reading again our own words after publishing. And I hope you didn't find it too long, my texts are getting longer and I am worried with that, but this one needed to go this way. Heroyam Slava! 🇺🇦
You self-criticize too much, Viktor. Consider how much damage he has done there and his puppet already has accomplished here, why would you/we Not hate them? We know that Evil walks among us, and not since Stalin died has it been so clear that this is true. Good people must fight against the domination of the unalterably wicked.
Stand tall, and remember: the glory of every sunrise is proof that God intends us to be happy in this life, and that beauty and goodness are what we fight to protect from being despoiled by evil men and their henchpeople.
We can not pass any judgment on you. We are not in your shoes. We don't live your fear every day. I hate Putin and no one can say if given the chance they wouldn't do the exact same thing. I pray someone stops him, he is beyond evil. I also pray for the ppl of Ukraine with everything in me.
Thank you. My friend in Kyiv has expressed something similar although not so detailed. Now I understand what he is feeling in a better way. This is extraordinary difficult stuff to deal with but completely understandable. I will say the same thing I say to him: this *is* still your humanity, your recognition of evil, your unbreakable will to survive, your ravenous need to put an end to your pain and the pain of others. You would be a monster if you felt nothing. It is humanity pushed to the brink but humanity nevertheless. Because it disturbs you that you could do this even in dreams, even though your hatred is white hot. Because you can still feel, because you can still care, you have not turned into him. And you never will.
Thank you, I was a little afraid before publishing about how would people receive these raw feelings. I have always the intention to bring something positive here, to drop some kindness and generosity, these things, but at the same time we need to deal with our ghosts in order to find the best inside ourselves, and some of our ghosts are inside us in the shape of hate too. 🌻
Victor, even inside your hate, we see your love shine through. You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing all of yourself with us and letting us read your thoughts. We understand, and we try to reflect the love you send us back to you. ❤️
I do understand. I am surprised at my capacity to hate Trump and ALL his minions. Do you think if someone had succeeded in killing Hitler, that person could live with him/herself? Is “for the greater good” enough justification?
Interesting thoughts Sally, if we think straight and clear, in rational terms, we will see that Hitler had a selection of sadists by his side 80 years ago, and it would be perfectly feasible that something even worse happened... The same can certainly be said about Putin. Our enemy, here and there back in historyy, is the regime, not only the head of the regime. The real challenge is to be rational, and leave our uncontrolled emotions to our dreams (or nightmares). 💙
I find this last thought wise, that the enemy is the regime, not its face. It is the same in America these days. Decapitation is not the way this can end in the US. In stead it requires people learning truth and teaching truth - as I think you do here, Victor! I hope your readership in Russia is growing... there must be a few!
There was a time, even in Russia during WWII after Hitler had shown his true hand, when a woman had been captured (can't recall if she was a spy or a tank driver or...) and was due to be hung: "You can't hang all 200 million of us!"
Someone in Russia ought to remind Putin and his regime of that, and themselves: there are more of them than there are of his puppets.
I understand. I hate what my hatred for a certain president has turned me into. I have never truly hated anyone before and have often asked myself what I would do if he was ever physically accessible to me. I haven’t dreamt of this; it’s a waking dream, a question.
My husband and I retired with generous pension and profit sharing awarded to him after 37 years of work as a research and development engineer. Along with my pensions and our Social Security we felt confident this would see us through comfortably to the end of our lives.
Wrong! During his first term he caused a big economic crash and we lost 1/3 of our money. Our building project of our dream house was delayed and ended up costing way more than planned. We had to complete it because it was already launched and we had to honor our contracts.
Now in this term, tariffs and other economic uncertainties, a wild roller coaster of a stock market , threats of cut to Medicare, Social Security and other programs make thinking about the future unbearable.
I am so angry that instead of enjoying our retirement, we are forced to wake up every morning wondering what fresh hell we are going to have to face; what cruel action has the administration decided to take against its own citizens.
Yet none of this compares to what so many others are going through: war, injury and death, loss of loved ones, imprisonment, starvation, forced relocation, disease, lack of medical care, disaster relief; the list goes on.
I am not deluded that I am still in a position of privilege. We are safe, our family members are safe, we all have roofs over our heads and sufficient food, clean air and water and clothing. The fear comes in not knowing how long this will last.
I can barely watch the news with my husband as has been our habit for years because I get so upset I burst into tears. I cannot unsee the images of children in Ukraine who are traumatized by war. Nor can I unsee the 4 month old Palestinian baby in Gaza who weighs only 4 pounds because a country that was formed to help refugees escaping Nazi genocide are now the perpetrators of genocide against innocent civilians. I have difficulty reading your posts, Viktor without tears running down my cheeks, partly because of the deep sadness but also because the beauty of your writing evokes so much emotion.
I know the terrible forces unleashed on our world right now are due to rage and hatred and that we must not give in to the despair that will lead us down this same path. So I will struggle and hope you will also. We can’t give up or give in lest we become like those we hate. We must preserve our humanity in spite of almost overwhelming forces. We must maintain our ability to hope and work for justice and peace. Otherwise what meaning is there in this life?
So well said. Even though we do worry about our retirement, in our safe, dry, warm (or cool) home, we say often that "we have everything we need, and much that we don't need, but surely enjoy." We believe we are blessed to bless others, so we keep our eyes open for who we can support. And so, we stand with Ukraine.
Seems Viktor is experiencing his brain guarding him from continued trauma. To calmly exterminate the cause of the trauma makes sense. No need to feel inhuman or guilty. Survival is about more than just staying alive.
Keep being real, dear Viktor. We are standing with you.
Amen to all you have said. And sorry as I am to hear of your stresses, I am glad to know that kindred souls like you exist — who live with feeling, a sense of shared humanity, and a life of meaning, inspiring others. Thank you for inspiring me!
Boy, Carol, you said all of what I was still a bit afraid to say. I'm not a Christian, but I believe Jesus did attempt to bring a better life to this world. Trouble is, we have far too many Pharisees, and not enough Samaritans. Even Odin spoke of life being good if you're kind, take care of your neighbors, feed the hungry and thirsty. And he was a heathen god.
All I can say is, I UNDERSTAND! Completely. Like you, I want the monsters (and that is what they are) GONE from this world. This world, that could be such a beautiful place, without them, and the misery and evil that they inflict. Trump, and Putin, and a few others, are like a Cancer that is eating away at all that is good and beautiful and innocent in this world. Something that will spread and destroy us all, if it (they) are not stopped.
Oh dear Viktor. The pain. The anguish you carry. How heavy it must be to have to find a way to drop a bit…to have to dream it. I am grateful. Although that seems so cruel. So harsh. Yet I am grateful because you must be a truly amazing human being. To feel. To persevere. To be so vulnerable that it takes your unconscious to keep you so human. And then after all that to still share this all with us. Dear friend. I lift you and those you love up to the Universe. That mystery that is beyond us and yet within every cell. Courage and peace surround you.
You and your country have been in this horrendous war. Think of it this way, his demise would stop a lot of Ukrainian bloodshed and a lot of Russian soldiers who are so doomed, as they too are lambs to the slaughter. The emotional toll has overflowed into your subconscious thoughts.
We are dealing with the odious toad president here, his decisions could get us into a civil war or a major world crisis. So many people are so naive to what is going on; they just don’t see it. Hang tough, keep writing. Slava Ukraini.🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 It’s overflowing you’ve gotta get it out!!
Yes it’s horrible but having him alive while innocent people die is far more horrible. I used to be able to say honestly that I have never wished anyone dead but now I can’t. I hate that I feel that way but I can’t stop feeling like this.
Putin is a monster and you are just a good person who has been pushed too far.
Its like the movie Star Wars. The Emperor saying to Luke to join him, kill his father and his transformation to the "Darkside" will be complete. Like if you cross that line it forever makes you evil. They want you to feel this way. They want you to feel you are lost in the dark. In a Hell of your own making. But you are good Viktor. That dream tells you how you feel about what's happening to your country, to its people, that it is so horrifying. Your mind tells you who is to blame and how to fix it. But as you said, behind every evil entity there stands another to take his place. To be worse. You think of your wife, of your friends, your family and, yes, you think of all of us. And we are thinking of you. And through your writings you represent every person in Ukraine who wants freedom. You are that "everyman" who just wants his country back. I am always praying for you, thinking of you, hoping for all of you. My heart believes in you. You are good Viktor. You are good! ❤️
Someone called Viktor Krav is responding to comments and it's NOT Viktor Kravchuk as far as I can tell. It wanted me to click on a link, looked like spam. Be careful out there.
Please be aware and never link to anything suspicious. I never send links in comments or anywhere else except the body of my articles and notes. I am not part of any humanitarian group and so I don't endorse any other groups or telegram channels. Everyone who claims to use my name under these circumstances is probably doing something in bad faith. Thanks for pointing this out. [edit: just found the bogus account, blocked it, and reported it]
My grandfather fought in world war 2. He was a quiet serious but loving man. He never once spoke of the war. He refused. And although you MUST talk, and he couldn't, I am sure you and he would have understood each other.
No doubt! My dad and his older brother fought in WWII; Unk over in the Pacific, Dad in Europe. Dad would tell stories at less than the drop of a hat (mainly just the light-hearted ones, and those did exist); Unk was guarding people who were even smarter than he was (the eggheads, the whiz kids) and said he couldn't tell anyone most of his stories, since they were still classified at the time we asked... ;)
But it definitely changed Dad; he'd told everyone that, when he got back home again (he was bound and determined to do so, and he was right!), he'd continue his college education, finish his biology major/pre-med specialty, go to medical school, and become a doctor. That was his plan.
He came back, all right, but he changed his specialty to wildlife biology, and continued with it until he got a Master's Degree and worked for the National Park Service (where he probably would've stayed for his career if not for a scumbag middle manager who didn't like him). But every time a lateral transfer position came up on the bulletin board, that would put the ranger out in the middle of nowhere, away from any humans, Dad's name would be the first on the list. X-P
Finally, he ran afoul of that awful middle manager and eventually wound up being a high school biology teacher, so I guess he'd gotten the idea that he had to deal with people again. But there were some stories he just wouldn't blithely tell; I'd had to pry them out with a crowbar, just about, and I hadn't heard them very often.
Being in Europe...and yeah, he'd be massively disappointed in Israel and Netanyahu right now, if he were still around; put it that way. :-/
Sometimes being a human feels a lot like being a monster. This was so beautifully written. So raw, so vulnerable. I am sure many people have felt this way over less. You, I think many will agree, you're justified.
Viktor, you are still human. I have hated as you hate, something few people actually experience in peacetime. Who you are has not changed: you remain the fine writer, the loving husband, the good father. The war has brought a new dimension to you that you never wanted. The person you are, the real Viktor, writer, husband, father, a man of morals, will keep the hatred from consuming you. I know, because I have been where you are now, psychologically. I have had those thoughts, that desire. But the core me, the woman who loves God, who embraces non-violence prevailed. Unlike you, in my hatred I had opportunities to act, but the real Alia’s self-discipline prevented the hatred in me from doing something awful. I have hated, but remain myself. I promise you that you remain yourself, too: a good man, a man who hates war, a man who knows how to love. That will not be taken away by the passion of hatred. Your essential, actual self will prevail.
I have not dreamt that about our monster here in America. I have thought it while being awake. Yes, it is terrible we are put in that place of hate when all we want is peace and a normal life. Bless you Viktor.🫡💙💛🌻
Bless you too Kat, and thanks for your honesty. We can feel the scale of their monstruosity when they start to raise these monstruous thoughts on us, and they dont make us monsters, but only humans. That's the biggest monstruosity of all, and we cannot forgive them for that. 🌻
I have had day dreams about killing trump, and yes, the thought is not pleasant. I have never used a gun, a knife, or anything more dangerous than my temper. And that is largely directed at myself. It is so difficult to realize that one can hate someone so much you wish them dead: not just dead, but that I could do it. You are a good man, Viktor, and don't let yourself tell yourself any difference. What you dreamt was cathartic, and I'm betting you needed that in order to keep fighting. Keep the faith. I, for one, believe Ukraine will ultimately prevail. Your people have something putin can't take from you: courage and an unrelenting resistance. Reminds me of our own little country of 1776 breaking from the strongest nation in the world. If our ancestors could do this, so can you.(Now, if only Americans would grow the guts you and your country people have.)
As an American my daydream is to see dRumpf in chains being duck walked into CECOT to the barbers so he can watch his locks of hair falling to the floor.
Nah; just watching them peel off that toupee of his will be good enough for me. :D
That is what we Americans wish for sure Barbara.
That’s what injustice and cruelty can do to us Viktor. We in this country are just as guilty of feeling this kind of rage as you are so you’re not alone.
I have also thought about it while awake -- and Putain as well. But I don't let myself use a lot of energy for this. As a little old lady,I know perfectly well that I would probably not be able to kill either of them even if I had the opportunity. Your nightmare is the result of deep psychological trauma, given the situation you find yourself in. Don't feel guilty about it. You are not becoming a monster. As you say, you are only human.
Ì agree with you Sandra. I have thought of killing some people who abused me in my life knowing full well that I lacked the real ability to do so. Trauma held inside asserts itself in our dreams. But that does not make us monsters. It is a way for our minds to release that pressure valve and keep us human.
That reminds me of a dream I had between the election and Inauguration Day - that Trump died before he could take office. In my dream, I thought, Well, I don't really wish death on anyone, but I'm glad he can't be president anymore. When I woke up, I thought, Is it bad that I kind of wish that weren't a dream?
It isn't bad that you wished it were not a dream. The whole world would wish the same, given the dream.
There's a Bee Gees song: "I Started a Joke"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4ZWKR2zJESk
I won't repeat the lyrics here in writing, mainly because I don't want the Palantir people (and isn't that a Tolkien copyright-violating-offense name?) coming after me, but I often think of it. :-/
Agree
I’m sure you are not the only one who dreams of P**in’s demise. In fact, I would bet you have plenty of company. Stay strong, Victor.
Thank you Patricia, we are united in the same goal. And no matter if the fate of Putin follows my dream, having the victory of Ukraine is already mission accomplished for the entire world (and it is closer than we thought) 🌻
Ukraine is holding the winning hand now. I’m praying for the success of your country.
Wow !! What a raw write!! Slava Ukraini🇺🇦🇺🇦
Thank you Robin. This is that kind of text we write and are afraid of reading again our own words after publishing. And I hope you didn't find it too long, my texts are getting longer and I am worried with that, but this one needed to go this way. Heroyam Slava! 🇺🇦
Never too long. Today you brought tears to my eyes, and that should help you to know your texts are not too long. We need to know.
You self-criticize too much, Viktor. Consider how much damage he has done there and his puppet already has accomplished here, why would you/we Not hate them? We know that Evil walks among us, and not since Stalin died has it been so clear that this is true. Good people must fight against the domination of the unalterably wicked.
Stand tall, and remember: the glory of every sunrise is proof that God intends us to be happy in this life, and that beauty and goodness are what we fight to protect from being despoiled by evil men and their henchpeople.
Slava Ukraini, and stand tall!
You are not alone, I have not stopped praying for you and Ukraine 🇺🇦 and America 🇺🇸 and the world 🌎
We can not pass any judgment on you. We are not in your shoes. We don't live your fear every day. I hate Putin and no one can say if given the chance they wouldn't do the exact same thing. I pray someone stops him, he is beyond evil. I also pray for the ppl of Ukraine with everything in me.
Thank you. My friend in Kyiv has expressed something similar although not so detailed. Now I understand what he is feeling in a better way. This is extraordinary difficult stuff to deal with but completely understandable. I will say the same thing I say to him: this *is* still your humanity, your recognition of evil, your unbreakable will to survive, your ravenous need to put an end to your pain and the pain of others. You would be a monster if you felt nothing. It is humanity pushed to the brink but humanity nevertheless. Because it disturbs you that you could do this even in dreams, even though your hatred is white hot. Because you can still feel, because you can still care, you have not turned into him. And you never will.
💙💛🌻💛💙
Having that dream is understandable
Thank you, I was a little afraid before publishing about how would people receive these raw feelings. I have always the intention to bring something positive here, to drop some kindness and generosity, these things, but at the same time we need to deal with our ghosts in order to find the best inside ourselves, and some of our ghosts are inside us in the shape of hate too. 🌻
Victor, even inside your hate, we see your love shine through. You are a beautiful soul. Thank you for sharing all of yourself with us and letting us read your thoughts. We understand, and we try to reflect the love you send us back to you. ❤️
💙💛
💙💛💙💛💙💛
I do understand. I am surprised at my capacity to hate Trump and ALL his minions. Do you think if someone had succeeded in killing Hitler, that person could live with him/herself? Is “for the greater good” enough justification?
Interesting thoughts Sally, if we think straight and clear, in rational terms, we will see that Hitler had a selection of sadists by his side 80 years ago, and it would be perfectly feasible that something even worse happened... The same can certainly be said about Putin. Our enemy, here and there back in historyy, is the regime, not only the head of the regime. The real challenge is to be rational, and leave our uncontrolled emotions to our dreams (or nightmares). 💙
I find this last thought wise, that the enemy is the regime, not its face. It is the same in America these days. Decapitation is not the way this can end in the US. In stead it requires people learning truth and teaching truth - as I think you do here, Victor! I hope your readership in Russia is growing... there must be a few!
There was a time, even in Russia during WWII after Hitler had shown his true hand, when a woman had been captured (can't recall if she was a spy or a tank driver or...) and was due to be hung: "You can't hang all 200 million of us!"
Someone in Russia ought to remind Putin and his regime of that, and themselves: there are more of them than there are of his puppets.
I understand. I hate what my hatred for a certain president has turned me into. I have never truly hated anyone before and have often asked myself what I would do if he was ever physically accessible to me. I haven’t dreamt of this; it’s a waking dream, a question.
My husband and I retired with generous pension and profit sharing awarded to him after 37 years of work as a research and development engineer. Along with my pensions and our Social Security we felt confident this would see us through comfortably to the end of our lives.
Wrong! During his first term he caused a big economic crash and we lost 1/3 of our money. Our building project of our dream house was delayed and ended up costing way more than planned. We had to complete it because it was already launched and we had to honor our contracts.
Now in this term, tariffs and other economic uncertainties, a wild roller coaster of a stock market , threats of cut to Medicare, Social Security and other programs make thinking about the future unbearable.
I am so angry that instead of enjoying our retirement, we are forced to wake up every morning wondering what fresh hell we are going to have to face; what cruel action has the administration decided to take against its own citizens.
Yet none of this compares to what so many others are going through: war, injury and death, loss of loved ones, imprisonment, starvation, forced relocation, disease, lack of medical care, disaster relief; the list goes on.
I am not deluded that I am still in a position of privilege. We are safe, our family members are safe, we all have roofs over our heads and sufficient food, clean air and water and clothing. The fear comes in not knowing how long this will last.
I can barely watch the news with my husband as has been our habit for years because I get so upset I burst into tears. I cannot unsee the images of children in Ukraine who are traumatized by war. Nor can I unsee the 4 month old Palestinian baby in Gaza who weighs only 4 pounds because a country that was formed to help refugees escaping Nazi genocide are now the perpetrators of genocide against innocent civilians. I have difficulty reading your posts, Viktor without tears running down my cheeks, partly because of the deep sadness but also because the beauty of your writing evokes so much emotion.
I know the terrible forces unleashed on our world right now are due to rage and hatred and that we must not give in to the despair that will lead us down this same path. So I will struggle and hope you will also. We can’t give up or give in lest we become like those we hate. We must preserve our humanity in spite of almost overwhelming forces. We must maintain our ability to hope and work for justice and peace. Otherwise what meaning is there in this life?
So well said. Even though we do worry about our retirement, in our safe, dry, warm (or cool) home, we say often that "we have everything we need, and much that we don't need, but surely enjoy." We believe we are blessed to bless others, so we keep our eyes open for who we can support. And so, we stand with Ukraine.
Seems Viktor is experiencing his brain guarding him from continued trauma. To calmly exterminate the cause of the trauma makes sense. No need to feel inhuman or guilty. Survival is about more than just staying alive.
Keep being real, dear Viktor. We are standing with you.
Amen to all you have said. And sorry as I am to hear of your stresses, I am glad to know that kindred souls like you exist — who live with feeling, a sense of shared humanity, and a life of meaning, inspiring others. Thank you for inspiring me!
Boy, Carol, you said all of what I was still a bit afraid to say. I'm not a Christian, but I believe Jesus did attempt to bring a better life to this world. Trouble is, we have far too many Pharisees, and not enough Samaritans. Even Odin spoke of life being good if you're kind, take care of your neighbors, feed the hungry and thirsty. And he was a heathen god.
That was wonderful to read because it echoed my sentiments - and we can hang in there together. ( it was also
horrible to read).
All I can say is, I UNDERSTAND! Completely. Like you, I want the monsters (and that is what they are) GONE from this world. This world, that could be such a beautiful place, without them, and the misery and evil that they inflict. Trump, and Putin, and a few others, are like a Cancer that is eating away at all that is good and beautiful and innocent in this world. Something that will spread and destroy us all, if it (they) are not stopped.
Oh dear Viktor. The pain. The anguish you carry. How heavy it must be to have to find a way to drop a bit…to have to dream it. I am grateful. Although that seems so cruel. So harsh. Yet I am grateful because you must be a truly amazing human being. To feel. To persevere. To be so vulnerable that it takes your unconscious to keep you so human. And then after all that to still share this all with us. Dear friend. I lift you and those you love up to the Universe. That mystery that is beyond us and yet within every cell. Courage and peace surround you.
You and your country have been in this horrendous war. Think of it this way, his demise would stop a lot of Ukrainian bloodshed and a lot of Russian soldiers who are so doomed, as they too are lambs to the slaughter. The emotional toll has overflowed into your subconscious thoughts.
We are dealing with the odious toad president here, his decisions could get us into a civil war or a major world crisis. So many people are so naive to what is going on; they just don’t see it. Hang tough, keep writing. Slava Ukraini.🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 It’s overflowing you’ve gotta get it out!!
Yes it’s horrible but having him alive while innocent people die is far more horrible. I used to be able to say honestly that I have never wished anyone dead but now I can’t. I hate that I feel that way but I can’t stop feeling like this.
Putin is a monster and you are just a good person who has been pushed too far.
Its like the movie Star Wars. The Emperor saying to Luke to join him, kill his father and his transformation to the "Darkside" will be complete. Like if you cross that line it forever makes you evil. They want you to feel this way. They want you to feel you are lost in the dark. In a Hell of your own making. But you are good Viktor. That dream tells you how you feel about what's happening to your country, to its people, that it is so horrifying. Your mind tells you who is to blame and how to fix it. But as you said, behind every evil entity there stands another to take his place. To be worse. You think of your wife, of your friends, your family and, yes, you think of all of us. And we are thinking of you. And through your writings you represent every person in Ukraine who wants freedom. You are that "everyman" who just wants his country back. I am always praying for you, thinking of you, hoping for all of you. My heart believes in you. You are good Viktor. You are good! ❤️
Someone called Viktor Krav is responding to comments and it's NOT Viktor Kravchuk as far as I can tell. It wanted me to click on a link, looked like spam. Be careful out there.
Please be aware and never link to anything suspicious. I never send links in comments or anywhere else except the body of my articles and notes. I am not part of any humanitarian group and so I don't endorse any other groups or telegram channels. Everyone who claims to use my name under these circumstances is probably doing something in bad faith. Thanks for pointing this out. [edit: just found the bogus account, blocked it, and reported it]
Good! Gotta keep your port here guarded, so others can't take advantage (Russian 'bot? We certainly get enough of them here in the U.S....).
Good catch! :)
My grandfather fought in world war 2. He was a quiet serious but loving man. He never once spoke of the war. He refused. And although you MUST talk, and he couldn't, I am sure you and he would have understood each other.
No doubt! My dad and his older brother fought in WWII; Unk over in the Pacific, Dad in Europe. Dad would tell stories at less than the drop of a hat (mainly just the light-hearted ones, and those did exist); Unk was guarding people who were even smarter than he was (the eggheads, the whiz kids) and said he couldn't tell anyone most of his stories, since they were still classified at the time we asked... ;)
But it definitely changed Dad; he'd told everyone that, when he got back home again (he was bound and determined to do so, and he was right!), he'd continue his college education, finish his biology major/pre-med specialty, go to medical school, and become a doctor. That was his plan.
He came back, all right, but he changed his specialty to wildlife biology, and continued with it until he got a Master's Degree and worked for the National Park Service (where he probably would've stayed for his career if not for a scumbag middle manager who didn't like him). But every time a lateral transfer position came up on the bulletin board, that would put the ranger out in the middle of nowhere, away from any humans, Dad's name would be the first on the list. X-P
Finally, he ran afoul of that awful middle manager and eventually wound up being a high school biology teacher, so I guess he'd gotten the idea that he had to deal with people again. But there were some stories he just wouldn't blithely tell; I'd had to pry them out with a crowbar, just about, and I hadn't heard them very often.
Being in Europe...and yeah, he'd be massively disappointed in Israel and Netanyahu right now, if he were still around; put it that way. :-/
Sometimes being a human feels a lot like being a monster. This was so beautifully written. So raw, so vulnerable. I am sure many people have felt this way over less. You, I think many will agree, you're justified.
Viktor, you are still human. I have hated as you hate, something few people actually experience in peacetime. Who you are has not changed: you remain the fine writer, the loving husband, the good father. The war has brought a new dimension to you that you never wanted. The person you are, the real Viktor, writer, husband, father, a man of morals, will keep the hatred from consuming you. I know, because I have been where you are now, psychologically. I have had those thoughts, that desire. But the core me, the woman who loves God, who embraces non-violence prevailed. Unlike you, in my hatred I had opportunities to act, but the real Alia’s self-discipline prevented the hatred in me from doing something awful. I have hated, but remain myself. I promise you that you remain yourself, too: a good man, a man who hates war, a man who knows how to love. That will not be taken away by the passion of hatred. Your essential, actual self will prevail.
"Hate is always foolish; love is always wise."
Sometimes it takes a lot for us to remember that, but when we do, it's worth it. :)