Every day is a day for hope
And every day 31 is an opportunity to remember our strength and renew our dreams.
WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID, FOR SOME REASON I started to be frightened about my birthday. It may be because I was an extremely shy kid and found it embarrassing to be the center of attention on that occasion. Or I might have somehow felt that completing one more year could mean one less year to live. I don't remember searching for the exact causes of these feelings; it was unknown to me until these days. And I still feel strange on my birthdays.
I was lucky to have a close relationship with my grandmother Nadya, a strong woman, the kind of person for whom we develop the deepest possible love. She was not the usual sweet kind of grandma who plays with kids and makes delicious cakes. She was an executive at a large public company, and her life was very busy. She worked until she was close to 80 years old.
At first glance, she didn't seem interested in children, but somehow I developed a unique connection with her. She never needed to say she "loved" me; her presence of spirit was enough for me to feel something akin to the deepest sense of love. I learned from her that love is not something to be said, but something to be felt. And sometimes the ultimate kind of love cannot even be said or written in words.
Every 31st of every month is a date when I particularly remember my dear "babulya" Nadya. Nadya from Nadezhda, which means "hope." Hope that I carry with me every new day I'm honored to live, with hope for life in general in my heart and my beloved grandma's hope in my soul.
But what does my "babulya" have to do with my birthday and the 31st day of the month? When I was still little, she told me a tale, which she probably invented herself, that everyone born on the 31st day of a month (I was born on March 31st) is entitled to have seven birthdays throughout the year because this is not a common event and it's special because it's the last blow of life in each month. According to her, every occasion when we replace the sheet of the calendar is an occasion to be thankful for the month we have lived and for the opportunity to start a fresh one.
On each 31st, she made herself present and did something special for me to ensure I felt celebrated. She probably wanted to make me feel special and find a distinctive way to show her love, but her main intention was to dismantle the agony of every birthday I insisted on carrying inside my mind and show that despite being a special date, it's another day like so many others.
Having several birthdays in my life helped me understand that I have no objective reason to fear a date. With six other birthdays in a single year, it became impractical to keep hiding myself or running away every time I had something to celebrate.
It showed me that I have my special place in the world, but I'm no more special than anyone else in the whole world, so I have no reason to feel overly frightened or overly entitled because of a date that, like every other date, is made to repeat itself indefinitely.
I lost my grandma when I was 15 years old, but until her last year, she kept calling me on every 31st to congratulate me, even after I left childhood and learned to deal better with the issue.
But every 31st, like this 31st of May, is a day when I make a special tribute to her and try to have a special thought in the hope we connect somehow.
It may be a silly story, but it's also a story about hope. The fact her name means hope is no coincidence. It's a story that tells me that we can adapt to any situation and there's always a way out of every suffering.
There's hope for everything that is causing us pain or suffering.
On this 31st of May, we hope for peace. We hope for victory. We hope for love.
And hope will guide us because hope is the foundation of our strength.
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I can't believe I just mistakenly deleted all I just wrote here. I'm sorry but will now do the short version!
I loved your story and connected to :
The shyness and dislike of birthdays - hate party-type things.
I have a lovely 26 yr old granddaughter who has redesognated my birthday from 29th Dec to May the 4th when she alone wishes me a happy day. Her mother, my daughter, was called Nadia - Was because she died of multiple sclerosis when she was 29. We knew her name meant Hope - it's best result was her daughter.
And lastly In 1844 my Kelling ancestors came from Mecklenburg to Nelson NZ. They called their settlement Ranzau. Even though the name still is used for some features, war with Germany over two wars meant that most of the area became called Hope and still is today.
So yes Victor hope is big time important. Your country has moved so far to becoming part of Europe. You will never go back. Russia is behaving like an abusive husband trying to stop his wife getting away alive. Russia is as evil as any other determined killer, but Ukraine will achieve it's freedom. It cannot be any other way. I hope with you, that it happens soon.